


Astronomy In Reverse

by allonsy_gabriel



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Body Image, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Healing, Kinda?, Maybe - Freeform, Potentially Pretentious Writing, Recovery, Sibling Love, Siblings, but probably not, will i ever stop writing about sibling relationships and identity issues?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:28:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25389073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allonsy_gabriel/pseuds/allonsy_gabriel
Summary: Elves on Tuson were distinct. Their long, pointed ears rotated in all directions. Their wide, angular eyes were vividly coloured.They had constellations painted into their skin.Nights didn’t fall all that often on Tuson. Caught between the orbits of two binary stars, there was rarely a time when there was not at least one sun in the sky. But oh, oh, on those rare and shining nights, the sky was filled with glittering stars and swirling galaxies.On those nights, elves were born.They were born with a map of the heavens above covering their faces, down their necks, their arms, their shoulders, the stars glimmering from where they were pressed into skin.No two elves were born under the same sky, and therefore no two elves were identical.Except…
Relationships: Lup & Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 51





	Astronomy In Reverse

**Author's Note:**

> let's play Gabe Writes About Their Incredibly Niche Headcanons (and makes themself sad in the process)

Taako was, objectively, stunning.

His freckled, brown skin was smooth and blemishless. His eyes were a light, shimmering brown. His hair fell in perfect, copper ringlets that framed his face, and his cheekbones were so sharp they had a +2 to attack.

He was gorgeous, yes, but he was also…

_ Ordinary _ .

Elves on Tuson were distinct. Their long, pointed ears rotated in all directions. Their wide, angular eyes were vividly coloured.

They had constellations painted into their skin.

Nights didn’t fall all that often on Tuson. Caught between the orbits of two binary stars, there was rarely a time when there was not at least one sun in the sky. But oh, oh, on those rare and shining nights, the sky was filled with glittering stars and swirling galaxies.

On those nights, elves were born.

They were born with a map of the heavens above covering their faces, down their necks, their arms, their shoulders, the stars glimmering from where they were pressed into skin.

No two elves were born under the same sky, and therefore no two elves were identical.

Except…

Taako and Lup had memorised the patterns of their stars. They would identify the identical constellations across their backs, would trace them with expert hands, aware of every silver and gold pinprick of light that dotted their features.

Taako stood in front of his mirror and saw only skin.

He wasn’t ugly. He wasn’t even unrecognisable.

He was simply plain.

He sighed and sat back down in the large, overstuffed chair in the corner of the room he and Kravitz shared.

It was stupid.

It was stupid and  _ he  _ was stupid. Stupid for caring so much. Stupid for giving it up in the first place.

The glamour reappeared with a wave of his hand.

It had taken a while to modify the spell, to extend the duration so he wouldn’t have to reapply it every hour, so he would no longer have to deal with occasionally looking down and not recognising the hands in front of him, but hey. He was  _ Taako _ , you know, from TV and, like, also saving the entire universe? He could swing it, not sweat.

Who needed all those sixth-level spell slots, anyways? Not like he was still, uh,  _ in the game _ , so to speak.

It was fine. Cool. Absolutely rad.

Magic, huh?  _ Pretty handy. _

“Taako, babe, you home?” a voice called from down the stairs, lofty and lilting and the most familiar sound in the world.

“In the bedroom!” he shouted back, running his hand through his hair.

Lup burst into his room a moment later.

She’d been bad at knocking even before she was a grim reaper who could create portals through space and time.

She looked the same, of course. The body Barry grew for her was identical in every way to the one she’d lost in that stupid fucking mine.

Stars and all.

“So,” she said, flopping down on top of Taako’s bed and kicking her feet up in the air. “Guess who got off work early.”

Taako blinked at her twice. “Barold.”

“Nope.”

“Kravitz.”

“No, sorry, try again.”

“Richard from Humanoid resources.”

“Still, uh—still a big ol’  _ no _ on that one, broski.”

“Hm,” Taako said, leaning forward and tapping on his chin. “I wonder…”

Lup laughed, long, red hair thrown back, angular, purple eyes crinkling, sharp, brilliantly white teeth bared, and Taako was struck once again by just how fucking much he’d  _ missed her _ .

“No for real, what’s up,” he said, lounging back into his chair with one foot propped up on his knee. “Did you just do super good at reaping or did Bird Mama cut you loose early?”

“I mean, a little bit of both.”

“So what, you just decided to come annoy your favouritest brother? For, like, shits and giggles and what the fuck ever?”

“Yeah pretty much.”

Taako shrugged. “Asked and answered, I guess.”

Lup stared at him for a moment, head cocked to the side. “Do you have plans for today?”

“I mean, I’m having dinner with Ren later?” Taako replied. “But that’s not, like, an  _ out _ thing. I actually think she’s bringing pelmeni and I’m in charge of, like, some sort of charcuterie board. Shit to munch on while we, like, grade fucking  _ lab reports  _ and shit.”

“Nerd.”

“Fuck off.”

Lup grinned and flipped over so that she was lying on her back, her head and hair hanging over the edge of the bed. She never could stay still for very long. “So you’re just chilling at home today?”

“I mean, that was the plan,” Taako said. “We can, like,  _ do shit _ if you wanna.”

“Nah.”

“Sweet.”

There was a moment of silence—not an uncomfortable silence,  _ never  _ an uncomfortable silence between the two of them—and then—

“Hey T?”

“Yeah, Lu?”

“If you’re not going anywhere, why’re you wearing the glamour?”

Taako felt his face heat up, a blush creeping down his ears and across his cheeks.

He was unsure if Lup could see it.

“Uh, because I want to, mostly,” he answered, praying his voice remained steady enough to—to what? To trick Lup?  _ Lup _ ? The person who knew him best, who knew him better than he knew himself?

His  _ heart _ ?

Yeah, right.

“Listen, I dunno if you missed it, but I  _ am _ kinda the most powerful wizard in, like, the whole of creation and existence—”

Lup scoffed. “Sure.”

“—I  _ think _ at this point I can just, like, do whatever I want, pretty much, so…”

Lup narrowed her eyes. “Taako…”

“Nope, nuh-uh,  _ no _ ,” Taako interrupted, standing up from his chair and crossing over to his closet. “We’re not doing this, alright? We’re just—we’re just  _ not _ , Lup. We’re not.”

“Uh, I actually think we are—”

“Well  _ I _ actually think you’re full of horseshit,” Taako snapped, grabbing a white blouse from the closet, one with a high, ruffled collar and shimmering embroidery. “And I just remembered that, uh, I was planning on visiting the farmers’ market this morning—”

“Oh,  _ now  _ who’s full of horseshit, huh?”

He pulled down a pair of royal blue pants and a silk patchwork vest with shiny gold buttons. “If you wanna tag along, that’s fine, but—”

“Taako!” Lup shouted, grabbing him by the shoulder. “Please just—”

“Just  _ what _ , Lup?!” Taako yelled, spinning on his heel. “Tell me!  _ Please _ tell me  _ just what _ will make this all—make this all  _ better _ because I—I don’t  _ fucking  _ see it!”

Lup scowled at him for a moment, purple eyes narrowed, the ever-familiar constellations dotting her brow wrinkled and furrowed.

And then she sighed.

“You don’t—you’re not  _ ugly _ , Taako—”

“Oh yeah, thanks,  _ thanks for that _ , Lulu, real—real fucking reassuring.  _ You’re not absolutely hideous and we can still tolerate being in your presence _ —that really makes me feel  _ so _ much better—”

“Would you  _ shut the fuck up  _ for  _ two fucking minutes _ ?!”

“No!” Taako argued. “No, no I won’t, actually, because—because you might be able to pretend everything is _fine_ and _back to normal_ and—and _whatever_ , but I _can’t_! I can’t! Because _every_ _goddamn fucking time_ I look in _any goddamn fucking mirror_ I see—I see _someone else_ looking back at me! It’s not—it’s not _me_ , Lup! It’s some fucking _poser_ who—”

Taako took a deep breath and unclenched his fists, unwilling to look his sister in the eye.

“Even when—even when you were gone, even when I didn’t know you fucking  _ existed _ , I still—you were there, with me, kind of. And not just because of your creepy fucking  _ vore umbrella _ . I always—I was  _ different _ and I always had  _ that _ , at least. Even if I didn’t know what it meant, I could always look and see—see that—see  _ us _ , and now—now it’s gone.”

Lup didn’t say anything.

Taako sighed.

“And now you’re back! And it’s so  _ fucking _ amazing, Lup. It’s incredible. It’s so,  _ so  _ good, but every time I look in the mirror I’m reminded that—that things  _ changed _ . They changed, and I was  _ alone _ , and it’s all  _ different _ , now. Not just me. The whole world.  _ Us _ .”

“Taako…”

“So please, Lup,  _ please  _ just let me have this one, okay?” Taako muttered, closing his closet door behind him as he tossed his clothes on the bed.

He could feel his sister staring at him as he pulled off the sweater he was wearing (it was Kravitz’s, technically—one of the first  _ real  _ pieces of clothing they bought him, and one of the first pieces to be stolen by Taako) and threw it to the ground. Could feel as her eyes traced over the lines of his back, of his shoulders, knowing what lay underneath his disguise.

Let her know.

Let her know that the familiar map of stars that crossed his shoulders and spine were illusions and nothing more.

Taako dressed quickly, straightening his collar and adjusting his vest, pulling on ruffled socks and high laced boots, grabbing bracelets and bangles and a collection of miss-matched earrings. He turned to grab his cloak and hat and—

Lup was crying.

_ Lup  _ was  _ crying _ , one hand pressed against her throat and the other curled over her mouth, the swirling patterns of constellations blending together as tears streamed down her face.

“Lup?” 

“I’m so sorry,” she said, the words muffled. “I’m so—I’m so sorry, Taako, I’m so—”

Taako sighed and crossed the room, pulling his sister into his arms. “Yeah,” he mumbled. “I’m sorry too.”

For a moment the room was still, silent except for the soft gasps of Lup’s quieting sobs.

“You know I love you, right Taako?” she whispered, her head resting on Taako’s shoulder.

“That’s a stupid question.”

“Yeah, well. Answer it.”

“Fine,” Taako huffed, rolling his eyes. Lup smacked him on the back of the head. “You’re not helping your case.”

“Sorry.”

“No, no, don’t—don’t be fucking  _ sorry _ , Lup, for fucking Istus’ sake,” Taako said, moving so that he could look her in the eye. “This is the shit I’m talking about, this is why I didn’t fucking— _ yes _ , I love you, okay? Like, fucking  _ obviously _ I love you, dingus, you’re—shit.”

“I’m shit?”

“Yes.”

“Fair.”

“You’re such shit and I love you so fucking much, alright? Like. You said I’m your heart, right? Well, like. Ditto, I guess,” Taako muttered. “And this is why I didn’t wanna fucking— _ talk about shit _ , because now  _ you _ feel bad and  _ I  _ feel bad and it’s all just a big ol’ ball of  _ bullshit and bad feelings _ that we could’ve fucking avoided if we’d just fucking—kept our shit on fucking lock like  _ adults _ —”

“That might’ve been the single unhealthiest idea I’ve literally  _ ever _ heard,  _ including  _ the time Barry and Magnus decided to try and microwave the light of creation.”

“That’s just how we do, Lu.”

Lup sighed and shook her head. “How did you guys make it without me?”

“Uh, I’m not sure how much you saw from, like, your funky vore umbrella, but we actually almost  _ didn’t _ make it, like, multiple times. Many times. I’m actually pretty sure I beefed it a couple times there, so like…”

“That—that one tracks, actually.”

“Yeah.”

“But like—you  _ know _ we’re not doing the whole  _ angsty emotional repression _ thing, right? Like—no.”

“I’ll consider it.”

Lup rolled her eyes and then looked Taako over again. “You… you’re okay, right?”

“Um, Lulu, I dunno if you remember this but  _ I _ wasn’t the one just crying into their sibling’s designer silk blouse that they definitely bought and didn’t steal.”

“Yeah, well,  _ I’m _ not the one who just went on a massive rant to justify the fact that they burn a sixth-level spell slot every day and  _ then  _ suggested we all start burying our feelings like assholes in an overwrought monster-hunting fantasy-CW show,  _ so _ .”

“I’m fine, Lup,” Taako promised. “Just… I can’t face  _ that _ . Not yet. Maybe, like, someday, when I’m  _ older  _ and  _ wiser _ and, like,  _ enlightened  _ and shit, but not now.”

Lup stared at him, just for a second, before sighing. “Alright,” she said. “Just, um. Don’t feel like you’ve gotta keep it up for us, alright, T?”

“Pft, me? Doing something for someone else? Yeah ri—”

“Don’t bullshit me.”

“Okay.”

“And, uh. You’re right,” Lup said softly, taking Taako’s hands in her own—identical, if only for the magic that covered them. “Things have changed. But we—we’re gonna be okay, okay? You and me? We’re gonna be alright.”

And Taako looked at her, and his eyes traced the familiar patterns of stars, and he smiled.

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

**Author's Note:**

> please let me know what you think, and if you wanna yell with me about these nerds on Tumblr, you can find me @allonsy-gabriel!


End file.
